Dear Timmy the Tumor (named by my dear friend Kate),
I wanted to let you know that your time in my body is up. You are no longer welcome, but I never invited you here in the first place. I will admit, we were close, really close. You went with me everywhere and stuck right by me through thick and thin. For the longest time I never knew you were there and then one day, I found you. Your presence has started many a conversation and even made me bold enough to ask near strangers to feel you. I am sure that you may have been offended when they were grossed out, but then again, they didn't know you like I do. But alas, you have to go. I've talked to a few professionals and their expert advice is that you have to leave now or you may become angry and want to do me harm. Shh, shh, I hear you. You're benign, but who knows, one day I may tick you off and then we'd have a serious problem on our hands and you don't want to see me mad.
I am a black belt, you know.
You were a constant and, oddly enough, comforting presence. You kept me occupied when I was bored. But that is not enough to keep me invested in this relationship.
So I am ending it. Tomorrow at 7:15 am. I know it's early but at least I am giving you a ride. Where will you go? I have no idea. What will become of you? I'm not sure. Some people may want to talk to you to see what you were really about. Beware, they will cut you! And then you'll go to a red biohazard box and onto the big incinerator in the sky.
Our parting is bittersweet. You are allowing me to chill out for two weeks to catch up on daytime television. Nevertheless, you will leave me with a scar on my face.
But it'll be a great conversation starter like you once were..."Wouldn't you know it, that bird flew right through my window and into the side of my face...
Take care Timmy. Be sure to take all your stuff, including any wandering cells.
I refuse to be host to any of your relatives that may want to pop up in the future.
Good-bye,
Danielle
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